Selfies are Devil Barbie’s Creation

I agree with comedian Sebastion Maniscalco. Selfies should be called, “lonelies.” I don’t think there is anything sadder then duck lipped girls taking four hundred and ninety one pictures of them selves in different poses. If you can’t get it in 3 put your phone down.

My dad text me a while ago. He asks me to take a picture and send it to him because he’s updating his contact photo. I don’t take pictures of my self… ever. If someone where to ask. “hey, let’s take a picture together.” I wouldn’t mind. because your capturing a memory or something sentimental.

I find it difficult to force a smile. It ends up looking like I’m getting a colonoscopy. But he insist’s so I take a picture of my self with a smile that looks as if I was caught walking out of a doctor’s office. That’s not right. I take another. The size of my head should have killed my mom in the birthing process. I’m on my third one. It’s more or less the same.

I’m a man of my word. So I looked for older pictures. I have one of me free falling 10,000 feet out of an air plane. I have another picture of me holding a gigantic beer with an honest to goodness smile. I sent both pictures and text, “two for one deal.” He replied, “I already have those. “Send me a picture of your face.”

I take a few more pictures not satisfied with my hair line, my head size. my smile. I came to the conclusion that I’m ugly. Not when I look in the mirror. I just don’t photograph well… or so I tell myself. I choose one and send it. What I get in return made me smile. “Almost as good looking as your old man. Love you son.” And it was genuine.


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