I always loved characters, real or fictional that were so strong or skilled that they chose a life of solitude and peace rather then being egotistical. One of my hero’s is Einstein. The picture of him riding a bike. That’s the type of person I aspire to become when I get older. A wise old man who maintains his mischievous childlike sense of wonder and most importantly humor.
My favorite anime character was Vash the Stampede. A pacifist gun slinger. One of the most memorable scenes happened to be when one of the insurance girls walked in on him with out his shirt on. He was covered in scars. “Did you get those scars from not killing your enemies?” She asked him. The image was disturbing but the context was beautiful. He never killed his enemies. He was so fast people didn’t think he was human. He acted like an idiot to make people think he was harmless. Then when he caught them off guard he’d disarm them. His kindness cost him a lot of personal injuries. He promised a girl he would cherish life and so he did. Even his enemies. “Love and peace!”
My anxiety is/was suffocating. I was afraid of everything. Then I heard a quote. “A coward dies one thousand deaths and a warrior dies but once.” That hit me hard. The way I projected my fears and anxiety on everyone. I started doing things to get out of my shell. I would make girls laugh. I had comebacks for days towards anyone that had something negative to say. I drove across country several times in vehicles that could barely make it. I mouthed off to crappy bosses who had superiority complexes. (I don’t like bullies) I went skydiving. I’m going again in June or August. I was going so fast and there was so much I wanted to do.
I didn’t stop to appreciate anything around me. The people good or bad. Food at a restaurant, or food I made myself. When’s the last time you sat outside and watched the clouds roll by. Have you ever observed nature so intensely admiring the patterns on bugs. Listened to leaves being brushed by a gentle breeze.
Everything I did as a teenager was so loud and fast. I was practically shouting, “Look at how bold I am!” I wanted to move to Japan and Ireland. I started working as much as I could to save up. But life kept sticking it’s foot out. Sending me back down to reality. Then I’d be disappointed because nothing worked out and I was broke. But that’s life when you’re living for the experiences in your early twenties.
The way I look at it now is one day I’ll get to Japan and Ireland. They’re not going anywhere, and I’m still in my twenties. To be a wise old man on a bicycle I feel like every time I wake up, I should take life in a little more.
You ever think about the fact that there was something called the God Particle which produced the Big Bang. Creating within infinite space countless solar systems. Which produces planets stretching throughout the cosmos, and here we are. On a planet that is at the perfect distance from the sun. Allowing are blue, green, and brown marble that rotates around other spheres to create life. Also the laws of gravity won’t allow us to crash into one another. For billions of years we have been dancing around this star. A star that combined with elements on earth creates greenery that produces oxygen. The creatures that this process creates have bodies that adapt and evolve to suit their environment. This process is never ending. I no longer think, “life is hard.” Life has literally given us everything we need to live. So live to be someone who adapts and changes with their environment. Cherish life, and one day you’ll look back at all this and smile.
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