Kindness is the Remedy for a Non-Confrontational Life

There’s a lot of reasons I ended up becoming an aggressive and direct person. I don’t care to stroll through memory lane as to why. Being direct is something I pride myself on. It’s a blue collar trait I’ve always admired. There’s no need to dance around a subject. Lets not speak in passive aggressive sarcastic code. Say what you have to say openly and mean it.

Aggression has caused a considerable amount of turbulence throughout my life. People were reacting to my tone and not my words. My dad would constantly lecture me about killing people with kindness. My follow up joke is, “Bullets work faster.” He also preached. “When you curse, you appear unintelligent.” Again, using humor to deflect I would reply. “Maybe so, however, I’m pretty sure if Einstein stubbed his toe he wasn’t reciting facts about the Pythagorean theorem.”

That’s youth, the rebellious desire to show the world how tough you are. Life has a tendency to slap the cockiness right out of you. It boils down to respect. Everybody will make mistakes in their life. Trial and error is apart of the human experience. Therefor we all deserve to be treated as human beings not one person excluded regardless of petty or superficial reasons.

As I get older I realize that is the most valuable thing you can give a person. Extending your hand to someone. I didn’t allow it to sink in when I was younger because there’s an overwhelming concept that when you choose who you want to be as an adult there’s no reset button. Nobody tells you that everyday is an opportunity to expand and evolve. No matter how many mistakes a person makes or how old you are.

Going back to, “Kill them with kindness.” I realize how corrosive anger is. “Anger is punishment we give to ourselves for someone else’s mistake.” Truer words couldn’t have been spoken. Think about all the things that frustrate you. We’ve all encountered things that upset us. If your honest with yourself how many times have you been rude to someone or worse because of a bad day. They probably carried that resentment with them and continuing the chain.

I find through basic psychology you can understand these troubled people and from there you don’t let them get into your head. Once you take a step back their is a realization that they are incredibly sad. That kills any desire to continue a confrontation. Knowing that they are their own worst enemies allows you to approach them from another angle trying to find common ground or just walk away.

I can honestly say that I’ve improved my temper drastically. I’m human, I still get frustrated don’t get me wrong. I realized consistently checking people who try to size me up is a waist of my time. It still doesn’t feel good when people belittle or manipulate me. Learning how to maneuver through these situations at first is grueling. I’ve spent so many years of my life asking a very important question. “Why do I care what they think of me?” After many confrontations with countless people trying to convince them I’m not some piece of gum you scrape onto the curb. I’m to the point where I have enough confidence to know that I don’t need to justify who I am to anyone.

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